> Satan apprehended: An Athens-area man told police “someone on the Internet” told him to steal snacks from a Kroger store. But the suspect had some good news, according to the police report: He “caught Satan and had him in a bottle in his book bag.”

> ‘Lowlife’ called out in ad: An Oconee County parent, wanting the return of his son’s dirt bike, took out an interesting ad in the Oconee Leader. He offered a $2,000 reward for “the return of this 2008 KTM dirt bike and for the conviction of the lazy, sorry, selfish, lowlife, inconsiderate poor soul or souls who took his bike."

> Woman bites man: A Tucker-area woman suspected of injecting the drug oxycodone argued with her husband while he drove, so she bit him on the arm. When he jerked his arm away, the force yanked out one of her teeth. She was found with syringes and hypodermic needles, and told police she was an addict.

> A raw deal: A Norcross man told police that his iPhone was stolen while he was dealing a hand of poker at Stars and Strikes in Dacula. When he looked away from the table, he saw the phone was gone. But he’s pretty sure he knows who swiped it. Someone tried to sell the phone to one of the man’s friends, saying he found it at Stars and Stripes.

> Littering, the gateway crime: A Gwinnett County Police officer investigating a littering incident found the culprit was up to no good. A search of the suspect's car uncovered several stolen items, including a Barbie doll and a woman’s cancer drugs, and a “large amount” of green leafy material suspected to be synthetic marijuana called “Doom.”

> Taking matters into his own hands: A clerk at a Lithonia convenience store refused to open the safe for a would-be robber. The suspect smacked the clerk on the head, but probably didn't expect the response. He tussled with the suspect and tossed him out of the store.

> Dude, where's your car? An inebriated Dawsonville man stopped by police at a Waffle House on Hamilton Mill Road in Buford looked like he had been in an auto accident. After first denying he had been drinking and driving, the man admitted to wrecking his car. But where? “Over yonder,” the man told police. The car was found several miles away. The man faces charges of pedestrian under the influence and driving on the wrong side of the road, but not DUI.

> Kid with a pellet gun: A Johns Creek woman reported that her cat had been shot by a pellet gun, possibly by that kid she once saw shooting at another child.

> Don’t do this: A woman said she was asked to leave her keys in the car when she needed it serviced at a Buford-area Walmart. The car was stolen while she was shopping in the store. The theft was captured by video surveillance, and the car was found later — with the keys in the ignition.

You might also be interested in reading:

• Fending Off Burglar with Golf Club, Horse Death Threat Made and Other Strange Police Stories
• Pizza Oven Stolen, Dispute Over Smokes and Other Strange Police News of the Week
• Man Smacks Intruder with Baseball Bat, Dogs Attack Officers, and Tires Slashed on Security Vehicles
• Grinch Spoils People's Holidays Around Northeast Georgia
• Peeping Tom, Flasher, and Padlocks Placed on Apartment Complex Gates

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