In my house, we have a divorce. My kids see their dad on Wednesday night and Saturday night. The way the arrangement is set up causes stress when it comes to any vacation time or special weekend opportunities because my kids have to choose to keep the peace and not ask to go or ask to go and risk upsetting a parent.

I hear from my friends that are married that this is an issue in their home, but for different reasons. Some have a parent that works odd hours who wants to see the kids and family when time is available. Some families are made up of grandparents who are primary care givers during the week and share parenting on the weekends. I know only parents who have to juggle their resources to manage week to week.  Regardless of how your family is structured...kids can feel torn.

Recently my children's grandparents requested 10 days of vacation time with the kids. My personal feeling that this is too long to be away from home. My 12-year-old doesn't miss me as much as he misses his "stuff" whereas my 8-year-old simply misses me. I want to allow the kids to construct the vacation that they desire with their grandparents. The kids love their grandparents and want to go...just not for so long. Ultimately, we all want the kids to be happy and to find a happy balance for us all.

Should kids have a say in vacation time? Weekend activities? Do you allow your kids' opinions to influence how you communicate with other family members? How do you raise young adults to grow and fly allowing their opinions to matter while still molding them to make good choices?