This idea of public humiliation is ridiculous and misguided. Talk about self-fulfilling prophecies!

I would suggest these parents should have directed their energy toward firm, consistent parenting in the home from an early age (once kids are old enough to crawl and get into things they should experience limits). If a solid, loving relationship is formed between parent and child over the years, the parents' opinion will be far more important to young children than a bunch of strangers'. (Not necessarily true for teenagers, for a time.) That's why parents need to get that cred with their kids before they become teens!

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I do agree with what your parents did. A child who steals should make retribution and apologize to the person they have offended.

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I agree with everything Sue said. And I think that children being shamed in public is awful. As the old saying goes--rules without relationship equals rebellion! I can't imagine a relationship being easily repaired between a parent and child after shaming them publicly. Great article. I had no idea about this!

I grew up with parents that doled out lots of praise and punished with shame. Personally, I know that I respond well to shame or humiliation, public or not. My folks never used public humiliation, but they didn't have to. They had set the groundwork of lifting me up with praise and I savored their high opinions of me. So when I stepped out of line and withered under their disappointed glares, I reformed quickly. That being said, I fully recognize that shame does not work on every kid (or person for that matter). I think it only worked so well on me because my parents opinions were so important to me, but they had laid the groundwork there. I often wonder when I hear stories like these if these children are products of divorce. I don't mean that kids from divorced families are bad, I just wonder if they don't get opposing forms of discipline (or none at all) and that's how they get so out of hand. I have clients that are divorced and their spouses don't follow the important rules when they take the kids (i.e. discipline, diet, etc). Desperate times call for desperate measures - I feel like this has to be the case in these situations. I've met some real a-hole kids that could have benefited from some of these tactics. It's not so different than those scared straight episodes of Maury, right? Sure, there are better ways, like doing the hard work of parenting from birth, but some people suck as parents. I feel like these parents at least care enough to do something drastic.

I was surprised to see how many parents thought that this form of punishment was a good idea. I'd be interested to hear their logic.

Holy therapy Batman! I remember old embarrassments from childhood much too well to ever cause my kid embarrassment on purpose.

I will second Risa's opinion on using shame in parenting. I have used shame for talking back or fighting with a sibling. I think disapproval is a good tool for good parents. However, I think this differs from public humiliation. I would not subscribe to this philosophy, as the trust I have worked to build with my children would surely disintegrate if I were to publicly embarrass one of them. Still, our society is a weird place. People buy dogs, knowing they will sit in 3 feet by 4 feet kennels for 8 hours per day. People have children, knowing they will be raised by people who get paid minimum wage and no health benefits, without any background information on this silent workforce. Sometimes you get good results with this model, sometimes not. It's a crapshoot. Honestly, though, even parents who spend oodles of time with their kids and take the time to lay the groundwork for positive behavior don't always get what they expect. I do think that there are alternatives for extreme behavior. Private counseling, with a professional who does not leap to medication alternatives before counseling, and a program called Tough Love are effective. Some parents spend such little time with their children, by choice or not, that they are forced to subscribe their children to a "Listen and obey" philosophy. Hard knocks for a lot of kids in our society.

It seems like these parents were desperate to get their child's attention. I think that it's a sad turn to take in parenting but one that may be necessary to reach those kids that just won't respond to other punishments. Teenagers are especially hard to get through to sometimes and it's crucial that the "at risk" teens learn from their mistakes before it costs them adult consequences. I would much rather see a kid standing on the corner with a sign than having them hide in their room with a black eye from abuse.

i think public humiliation is too harsh. Sure, make the punishment really hard. I am all for big consequences when the behavior is "that bad," but ultimately, we have to show our kids that we love and respect ourselves and them. it's not just about navigating this one situation; it's about a whole life time of making choices.

Reminds me of the old stocks that used to be in town squares. Heads and hands in the apparatus, bent over, a public humiliation. Thought we'd left those ancient tortures in our past where they belong!

Great article!

i highly dissagree with humiliation as punishment. think of a better way to teach your child right from wrong.